OK, I confess to taking part in a rash of hit-and-run branch library knockovers. JoeY first masterminded the idea of recklessly searching the online catalogue to find out-of-town libraries with attractive selections of DVDs and books, and grabbing the choicest pickings in daring daylight raids. I quickly became his wheelman and willing accomplice. It goes like this: we blow into some hayseed burg and swagger right up to the local branch like we own the joint. JoeY piles up a thick stack of books while I point my card at the help and announce "We're takin' these out!" It's plenty allreet by me if those stiffs get their jollies by bar-code scanning when they hand over the loot -- as long as they hand it over. Before they know what hit 'em, we're outta there for a clean getaway. The latest notch in our belts was the sleepy little Winchester Library. Of course, the staff was docile and cooperative. They never expected to deal with the likes of me. Metrowest librarians, beware: I just may sidle up to your counter packin' heat in the form of a Minuteman Network library card and say the words, Check me out, will ya?
05 March 2010
Wild in the Stacks
OK, I confess to taking part in a rash of hit-and-run branch library knockovers. JoeY first masterminded the idea of recklessly searching the online catalogue to find out-of-town libraries with attractive selections of DVDs and books, and grabbing the choicest pickings in daring daylight raids. I quickly became his wheelman and willing accomplice. It goes like this: we blow into some hayseed burg and swagger right up to the local branch like we own the joint. JoeY piles up a thick stack of books while I point my card at the help and announce "We're takin' these out!" It's plenty allreet by me if those stiffs get their jollies by bar-code scanning when they hand over the loot -- as long as they hand it over. Before they know what hit 'em, we're outta there for a clean getaway. The latest notch in our belts was the sleepy little Winchester Library. Of course, the staff was docile and cooperative. They never expected to deal with the likes of me. Metrowest librarians, beware: I just may sidle up to your counter packin' heat in the form of a Minuteman Network library card and say the words, Check me out, will ya?
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3 comments:
Park your Packard, crack the office bottle, light up a pin (number), and order your dime novels from the Minuteman Library Network Online, at: http://library.minlib.net/search/
Once you stash the greenbacks you save on gas, you'll be set to blow this burg and bust your blog wide open. Sure, you still gotta pick up the pulp when it's ready, but you can always hire a cheap hood for that.
Hank: you don't know this Moll. She likes fast living and cheap thrills. Pre-ordering would tip off the screws we're planning a hit, and, in her lingo, "blow the gaff".
Tell it to the Marines. The dame ain't been born yet who don't go gaga for online shopping, whether for leather bound library tomes or soft cover hard boiled poems. I'll bet you dollars to doilies you're reading this filly wrong. It's not how you rate the book, it's how you bait the hook; Dave Dinger had a name for it: volume sales.
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